Quick Hits - June 26, 2009

Flyers Trade

In a match made in heaven, former MVP Chris Pronger has been traded to the Flyers.

"It's really a perfect fit for both of us, historically," Flyers GM Paul Holmgren said. "We pick up a classy guy who's renown around the league for never leading with the elbow to a team with a docile and gentle team history."

McGuire Stays Upstairs

During TSN's Draft coverage Pierre McGuire wasn't interviewing draftees. Instead, he was upstairs analyzing picks, which prevented him from standing uncomfortably close to the new NHLers.

"I'm really pretty happy about it," said Thrashers draft pick Evander Kane. "I just have this thing about when people invade my personal space..."

Heatley Asking Price Revealed

"We're looking for one or two players and a draft pick," Senators GM Bryan Murray. "And some cash considerations. Possibly a draft pick next year. And a late round pick this year. And a solid offensive prospect. And a handjob."

"It's insane," Rangers GM Glen Sather said. "I was willing to offer him Callahan, Gomez, Sanguinetti and a handjob under the table AT the draft and he still wouldn't budge."

Tavares Committed to Isles

Photo courtesy of The Globe and Mail (ironic, I know).

In a post-draft interview with CI, John Tavares reiterated his commitment to play for the Islanders.

"I'm going to play for the Islanders," Tavares said. "Like I said all along, it's an honor to be drafted number one overall and the Islanders are a storied franchise. I'm looking forward to helping restore the tradition.

"That's right, I'M TALKING TO YOU TORONTO MEDIA!" Tavares added.

Contrary to reports coming out of Canada's principal city, Tavaras reportedly enjoys living in Long Island and has been for the last month and a half, living in a house he was renting in Garden City. Other reports state is looking to buy an IROC-Z without too many miles on it.

"I was renting," Tavares said. "But now I think I'll buy. And with my signing bonus I think I'll be able to get some bicept tattoos."

Tavares went on to say that he'd really like a tribal band or barbed wire. Reports coming out of the Tavares camp say that he might be willing to get a pistol on the inside of each arm, solidifying his upper arms as "Guns."

According to sources close to the Tavares family John spent a lot of time in South Shore clubs and came home wreaking of Jagermeister and Red Bull prior to traveling north to Montreal for the Draft.

When asked if clubbing would effect his play once the season began Tavares shook the notion off saying, "I'm just trying to fit in with Paulie and Joey and the rest of my boys out on the Island."

He applied the same logic to his haircut, which, as draft day crept up on the prospect, began to resemble a blowout more and more.

"Broads out on Strong Island love the blowout. I saw my boy Johnny pick up this one broad, this one bangin' Italian girl, she was wearing, like, nothin'," Tavares said. "She went back to his place and about halfway through this broad gets so loud she wakes up Johnny's parents. They made her leave or somethin'. She was, like, 16 or somethin' so whateva."